Summer 2007

Summer 2007 is going to end soon.. This summer has been a different one since a while.. For a start, here's to a summer where I'm single once more after 5 years.. (damn that's long!).. A summer where I am once again free to spend time with my bestfriends ( who just so happen to all be singles..), flirt, learn to forget, be egoistic of my own happiness. A summer of whirlwind fun and outings.. A summer of learning about friendship, relationship, being a family once more.

A summer of travelling to places (bali, HK, palembang), a summer of learning bout my future, reaffirming my decisions.. A summer of unfinished business, waiting to be resolved in 2 years.. A summer where I learnt not everything I want I can get, not everything I planned will work out the way I want, not everything have to happen right now..

On another note, I suddenly remembered a dinner I had this weekend where I had said that I don't want to meet my Mr. Right right now.. I had said why would I wanna meet The One right now if I can just enjoy my time by myself and having fun with my friends.. To which my friend replied: because it felt so damn good... (to love)
To say that I'm shocked is an understatement.. haha it's like things that you would see in movie or read in novels.. maybe he's a romantic and I'm in a limbo right now :)

Just came back from funeral tonight.. My uncle's father in law... I hateeee funeralll.. no offense to the person who passed away.. I just hate looking at how sad the family members were.. I hate to see the anguish in the family's faces when they say goodbye or when they recall the person who had left them .. I'm a sentimentil person.. I'll just cry when I see this scene.. even when I don't know the person who passed away.. see this is why I hate funeral.. I think it all started back in my high school year.. my best friend's mother had passed away and she had only told me and no one else in school.. It broke my heart to see her despair but there's nothing I could really do to help ease her pain. On the other hand, I was not trained to deal with grief (of hers and of mine at seeing another person mourning). Worse still since I couldn't share with anyone else.. Til this day, I never talked about that period to my friends.. It was a short but hard period. But as always, I boxed my feelings and store it in the blackhole. If I don't talk to anyone, the problem does not exist, thus I do not need to deal with it.. so I told myself.. here's why I think I need to see a shrink.. I'm jovial in the outside but the blackholes are all scattered within me

Anyway enough of the nonsense.. here's to going back to LA in 2 weeks time!! Cheers...

congrats

wow can't believe my 'cousin' is getting married.. Not real cousin, just a family's friend whom I've been close to since Singapore (9 years ago).. OMG.. haha congrats to him... WOW.. how time flies.. before we were just doing O level and A level.. and now he's 'engaged'

congrats brother...

The things about Love

Have you ever stopped and wondered how funny love (infatuation) is??
Sometimes you meet a guy and you just don't have any sparks..
Other times, you meet a guy and you instantly feel your heart is beating as though you're doing a bungee jumping from the 40th floor..
Yet another time, you meet someone for the first time.. nothing.. second, third, fourth .. nothing.. and then one day you just suddenly feel different..
Don't you guys agree that love is funny?

What really happens when you feel that "chemistry"?? why does it work for some guys but not others... and if u happen to have that "love at first sight" feeling.. is it better than the feeling that you acquire over time? or is it worse?

Dolphins

Feeling nostalgic.. just remembered how I really like dolphins ever since I was younger. Looking around my bedroom, I saw dolphins all around. There's the dolphin keychain from Joan, my roommie in Singapore, the shark (yes shark!) from Danar from his vacation to Indonesia once while Lipola and I were still in Singapore.. we asked him to buy us soft toys since we weren't going home.. Lipola wanted whales.. I wanted dolphin.. but somehow I got a shark.. :P There's the dolphin necklace my mom bought me.. she always bought me dolphin necklaces since she knew how much I like them.. there's the dolphin figurine/statue from Kevin haha.. supposedly my bdae present if I'm not mistaken but the Indon postal service sent it three weeks late or something.. there's another small dolphin soft toy I believe from Joan again and a dolphin playing with a ball figurine from someone I couldn't remember rite now...

:) brings back fond memories of my youth.. and especially of my time in Singapore.. :) then also remembered surfing in Venice beach with lotsss of dolphins swimming around me within 5 metres away.. wow.. just an amazing creature! i think i need to add more to my dolphins' collection

lalala

lagi keinget lagu lama.. lagu dari film chinese tentang going out to the world dan meninggalkan whatever you have di sini.. satu sentence yang will lead my life for 2 taun ke depan will me 'kalau aku tetep di sini, aku ga akan bisa melihat my present state'

lagi berasa ga tenang.. to forget prasaan ga nyaman, i try to menyibukkan diri.. try to concentrate more on my work, chat less pas kerja, pengen ikut lomba nulis dari BI tentang UMKM di Indo.. haha am actually reading peraturan pemerintah tentang UMKM di Indo now.. 60 sum pages...

August is Here

Can't believe I only have 5 weeks left in Indo.. my days are numbered.. so many unfinished business.. wish I can turn back time.. I'll wonder how the future will turn out :) like the movie sliding door..

went to HK last weekend it was fun! haha thanks shier.. we went to eat eat eat eat.. but the view in HK is breath-taking.. it's mostly the city views.. but still wow.. it's like you live with all these amazing city views surrounding you. the good thing is that I also calm my mind in HK.. I'm just happy to be where I am right now. Before HK, I hated the present.. not knowing what's gonna happen in the future. but things have folded out and I'm seeing bright futures once more.. may not be the way I wanted it to be.. but it's still better

maybe it's the month of August! new month.. new story.. :)

I really really really miss Paris badly.. it was his birthday a few days ago.. had always spent his birthdays with him.. same town at least. here's to the one love I will always have forever.. though no matter how naughty he is.. Nat told me that he's been busy chewing things and peeing on every corner of her apartment ( sorry nat.. 5 more weeks and I'll take that lil devil back ).. Paris does that sometime.. just peeing everywhere.. terrible tsk tsk tsk... hoho we ( nat n I ) make ourselves feel better by saying that we are training to be patient when we are parents in the future.. hah others would say we're being tricked when we get this lil devil :P

hahaha i still love him none the less though.. the thing about family.. no matter what he does, u still love him anyway

...

I cannot understand my own feeling..